Beautiful Trauma
by ComedyGirl
Summary: When yet another deadly villain threatens to destroy Earth and National City, Claire Danvers is sent back to the past to ensure the delivery of a substance that will save Earth. But, when her pod gets stuck in the year 2018, she's forced to face demons of her past and avoid telling her family members of the present who she really is to ensure her own existence in the future.
1. The Year 2045

" _No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path." - Buddha._

 **The year 2045. National City.**

Passing doors locked to secrets, Tina hurried down the fluorescent lit hallway. Much like the doors, her lips pressed together tightly, causing her ruby red lipstick to smear a little under her lower lip; she had a secret, but it was only so long before it burst out of her. She passed a janitor in grey overalls, his head bowed as he hurried by, a mop in his hand and a lanyard that showed his credentials to be allowed in the building's bowels, just like Tina. Although today, Tina clutched her credentials in her hand instead of around her neck; she didn't want anyone to know her identity, not even the janitor of the DEO.

Tina's high heeled footsteps echoed down the hall but seemed to stop abruptly once she reached the door at the end, pausing a moment to fix her summer blouse and smooth down the height of her curly brown hair; she didn't have time to dry it out of the shower today. She hovered her ID over the identity pad on the wall and practically pushing the door as it opened, Tina entered into a hectic environment of raised voices, panicked tones and faces of worry and denial. No one knew the fate of the world. No one knew the fate of National City.

But Tina did.

She pushed her way past suit and ties, armed agents in uniform and those who were lucky enough to earn a spot in the comfy twirly chairs at the computers. J'onn J'onnz stood on a small platform, an audience standing before him with their arms raised and questions firing out of their mouths at a speed that even he couldn't understand. He rubbed his fingers on his temples, attempting to try and find a peaceful moment in the chaos that was consuming him. If only he could just be in his happy place, on the red planet before the White Martian's, before everything, before...

"Mr. J'onnz!" Tina yelled, jumping up in the crowd with her file folders clutched tightly to her chest. J'onn had spotted her instantly, but poor Tina, still too short even in her heels was having a hard time seeing J'onn. "Excuse me, please, let me through." She asked the angry crowd politely, pushing her black rimmed glasses up the bridge of her nose.

J'onn rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. "Let Tina through!" He bellowed and the crowd allowed young Tina to pass and walk the two steps up the platform and stand next to J'onn, looking like an ant next to a falcon. She stood there, shaking, looking up into his hazel eyes. So much strength for someone who had been through so much, something that Tina had always admired about J'onn.

"What is it, Tina?" J'onn growled at his assistant, although he didn't mean, the stress was coming to him slowly, it was only a matter of time before it would break him.

"S-sir," Tina stammered, handing him a sheet of paper from her first file folder. "This is a list of those who may survive the meteor being hurdled towards Earth."

J'onn studied the list. "Tina, there are five people on this list."

"Four of those five people have been enhanced genetically in their life, their blood containing a chemical known as YSS, it can protect the body against the deadly toxins the meteor contains once it impacts Earth."

"Okay, so those five will be lucky. Do you have any better news for me, Tina?"

"We did find out where the meteor came from and what made it so deadly," Tina pulls paper from the second folder. "It came out of a distant wormhole, it travelled through time and space, it's from another galaxy completely! There's a certain chemical in it, and it makes it deadly to humans and any other alien race, except for two similar alien races..."

"Kryptonians and Daxamites?"

"Correct!" Tina chirps pleased. "The good news is, sir, that we can stop this."

J'onn turns his full attention to Tina, blocking out the harsh and angry words of the crowd before him. "How? What can we do? We can't just sit here any longer, look how bad it's become," he motions to the crowd. "We're going to kill ourselves in riots and stampedes before the meteor can finish us off!"

"That's the bad news, sir. You see," Tina produced paper from the third folder. "We no longer have the cure on Earth, we lost it in 2018 when National City was under the power of Reign and her goons."

J'onn took a deep breath in, remembering the horror and the pain he had endured himself during the small time period when Reign had control over the city. Dark days, but yet, the days ahead look even darker.

"What was it?"

"It actually came from Reign's hideout. Deep within the ground the material that was her fortress was made of a stone called Larmatte, it was only found on Krypton and later Earth, but the DEO destroyed Reign's layer a couple years after they destroyed Reign herself, destroying all of the Larmatte Earth was ever going to see."

"So we can't stop this meteor and whoever sent it because we don't have the stone?"

"Yes and no. We can't stop it now, but we could stop it," Tina giggled, excitement trickling all over her body. "In the near future."

"Spit it out, Tina! We have no time for games today!"

"We need to send someone into the past, retrieve a few samples of the stone and send it at the meteor in the present. We don't need every last piece of the stone, it's so powerful only a few pockets full will do."

J'onn looked into the faces of the crowd, of his employees and his people. He has called many of them family and almost all of them friends. He has even called few his enemy but regardless they always found a way to save the day in the end. The DEO had seen dark times, and within the past decade lost a valued member of the team, who's picture on the wall reminded him everyday of the man he still needed to be.

"Who are we going to send?"

Tina took a deep breath. "It has to be one of the five people on this list. They can travel through time and space without being affected by the chemical the meteor is emitting. I have highlighted the perfect candidate, but I don't think you're going to approve."

J'onn took a closer look at Tina's list again and frowned, his lips forming a smile to laugh in horror and then back to anger once he realized Tina was not joking.

"No!" He growled but this time, meant it. "I am not sending her back to the past! It's too risky!"

"This is just a risk we're going to have to take! We only have two weeks before all of us except for five people are wiped out! Gone!"

"I made a promise to her mother as she lay on her death bed that I would not let any harm come to her child," tears welled in J'onn's eyes. "And that's a promise I intend to keep."

Tina took a step closer to J'onn and laid a hand on his shoulder, taking a deep breath in. "It's not my place, Mr. J'onnz, but don't you think deep down, this is what everyone that you have lost at the DEO would have wanted? Don't you think this is what _she_ would have wanted?"

"Enough!" J'onn rubbed his temples again, the mental pain back and not showing any signs of letting up. "Let me think about this, alone, okay?"

"Okay," Tina threw her empty hands in the air; J'onn had received all of her information. "Fate of the world depends on you, Mr. J'onnz. What actions are you going to take?"

With that, Tina disappeared into the crowd, leaving her job behind until the end of the world came near, then she would resume to be by her boss' side once again. J'onn knew she was right, knew he had to take the right action as to what would be right to the world. But was it right to the person he kept dear in his heart? Would it be fair?

Nothing, not on any planet, was ever fair.

At fifty seven, Alex Danvers still felt as spry as she ever was. In her mind she could chase criminals, take them down with one swift kick of her left boot and pin them to the floor, a gun of any kind against their head. But of course, that was just in her mind. She looked down at her artificial legs from where she stood; her metal hooks were exposed, digging deep within the sand causing her to gulp back a tear; she has forgotten what it feels like to sink your toes in the sand.

Down the beach stands a girl close to her own height, doing jumping jacks in the red hot glow of the rising sun, her skin glistening with sweat. She's smiling, Alex can tell even though she can't see that far, she had forgotten her glasses on the kitchen counter. The girl readjusts her dirty blonde hair in the ponytail atop her head, and continues to run further down the beach, out of Alex's view.

"She's quick,"

Alex jumped, turning quickly on her legs only to come face to face with J'onn. Alex smiled, embracing the father figure in a warm hug, one that has been long overdue. "J'onn," Alex breathed. "I've missed you."

"And I you," J'onn squints at the blonde haired dot in the distance. "My, she's grown."

"Well yeah, she's not fifteen anymore! The kiddo has gotten a lot taller since you last saw her."

"College or University?" J'onn slipped his arm around Alex's shoulder and the two walk down the beach towards where the girl in the distance has stopped.

"Neither. She dropped out second year, said she couldn't take the stress of it but I call bullshit. She's a strong kid."

"She has to be for what she's been through."

Alex paused, stopping a moment to pretend to be adjusting the hinge of her leg. "Why did you call us here, J'onn? I'm worried seeing you again will cause her more stress than what she needs. It's been ten years, but ever since she moved back with me, she's been having these nightmares, and J'onn I don't know if I can fix her or what I can do to help."

"You've done your best, Alex. I have no doubt you raised her to be an exceptional person."

Alex laughed. "I love her, so much J'onn, and I've always tried to do what's best, but I don't know what that is anymore," she took a deep breath to clear her head. "Find a solution to that meteor yet? I have my every faith the DEO will pull through at the last moment like old times."

"That's actually what I want to talk to you about, Alex. You and Claire."

Claire squinted down the beach at Alex and the other man she was with, talking to, holding hands with? Claire kicked up the sand and cupped her hands around her mouth to yell down the beach.

"Yo!" She shouted. "Aunt Alex? You going to catch up or what?"

"Or what!" Alex shouted back, but unlike usual there was no hint of laughter or playfulness in her voice, it was serious, and this twisted Claire's stomach into a million knots. She placed her hands on her knees, out of breath from running and anxiety that plagued her veins day in and day out. She waited for Alex and the man to catch up to her, and stayed down until Alex put a soothing hand on her back, rubbing it up and down in a motion she has mastered over ten years.

Claire recognized the man now, she hadn't seen him since the funeral but of course he didn't age, didn't grow old or even a single wrinkle to dent his face, but still, he had changed, she could tell. But, she wasn't going to let him have that satisfaction after all, it was because of him her mother was dead. It was because of J'onn J'onnz she never had the closure she rightfully deserved and wanted.

"I haven't seen you since..."

"I know," J'onn held up a hand. "I want to apologize to you, Claire, it was not right of me to disappear like that. I made a promise to your mother, and I thought I was to best do that at a safe distance. I was just trying to do the right thing."

"The right thing?" Claire scoffed and gently shooed Alex's hand off of her back. Claire straightened her shoulders, looking J'onn dead in his eyes. "Where were you the night Supergirl fell from the sky? The night National City lost its hero? The night... the night _I_ lost my hero? The night I lost my mother?"

Clearly, apologizing wasn't his way back into Claire's life. J'onn squared his shoulders to match Claire's, his sympathetic approach gone. "I was not there the night your mother fell from the sky, but I was there for her dying breath. I not only promised her that I would make sure no harm came your way, but I also promised her I would look out for National City and any threat that came Earth's way. I plan to fulfill that promise and I hope you can help me out."

"Why? I don't have everything she had. I'm not Supergirl."

Alex gulped loudly, choking back an onslaught of tears from this reunion. "No one is asking you to be Supergirl, Claire. We're..."

"Actually," J'onn cut Alex off. "I am. I'm not asking you to wear the cape or the uniform. But I am asking you to try."

"What are you saying?"

"Claire," J'onn put a hand on her shoulder, much like Tina had done for him. "I need you to be the woman behind the cape, I need you to be Kara Danvers."

"Kara Danvers, is dead," Claire shouted, and much to her relief no one else was around to hear her. "What you're asking me is impossible. I am Claire Danvers, you can't just come back into my life and force me to be my mother. Whatever your asking I won't do it."

And with that, J'onn and Alex watched as the last hope known to Earth dashed back down the beach at a speed only Supergirl would have been able to match. And in a flash, she was gone, out of sight and to Claire, she felt as if she were out of her mind.

"She's hurting, J'onn," Alex whispered. "I tried to tell you."

"Being hurt is one of the ways to find your strength," J'onn winked at Alex, the woman he had always seen as one of his daughters. "Let's go find her. We have to save the world, and hopefully Claire can be the person I know Kara raised her to be."

"Oh hey," Alex pushed him playfully. "I raised her too, through those tough teenage years as well!"

J'onn smiled. This was his family, and in this moment, he hadn't a clue why he had left it.


	2. The Letter

Alex arrived home just after dark. Her car's headlights beamed in through the small two story house, reflecting off of the television Claire had been using as background noise to her thoughts. She had been out with J'onn, Claire knew it. It was just like her Aunt to go running into the arms of the green Martian when he randomly popped up back into their lives. Alex had barely shut the door and hung up her coat when Claire spoke her bitter mind:

"You know," she started. "He's only back because he wants something."

Alex sighed and crossed the threshold into the living room where her niece sat on the couch, her legs tucked into her chest and her head resting on the side of the sofa. Alex smiled; she saw Kara in Claire more and more everyday.

"The fate of the world kind of depends on it."

"Yeah, sure did when Mom died."

Alex knew better than to fall into Claire's trap. She had been doing this for years, guilt tripping J'onn and everyone there on the day Kara passed on. It was no lie that Claire felt somewhat responsible for Kara's death, everyone who knew the Danvers family could see it in her eyes and the way she presented herself to the world.

Alex silently left Claire on the couch and began to rummage in the cupboards to find something easy and quick to make for dinner. _Keep the conversation going._ She thought to herself. _Be strong for Claire._

"So, how's the job hunt going? I do like your company and all, but I think you'd be less bored during the day if you had something to do, somewhere to go."

Claire sighed dramatically from the next room over. "The world's ending in two weeks, remember? Two weeks till' doomsday. Live it up while we still can."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Claire, we're not going to die. The DEO will come through. And if we don't, you'll still be standing, the meteor can't hurt you."

"Half-human, remember?" Claire strolled into the room, rolling up her t-shirt to display the long pink scar running down her back from the base of her shoulder to the top of her right hip. Alex chuckled at the memory of how Claire had received that 'battle scar'.

"What?" Claire laughed along with her Aunt. "That day was painful! Why are you laughing?"

"Because," Alex continued, still smiling. "I remember being so worried about what your mother was going to do to me rather than how many stitches you were going to be getting in the back."

"Sixty-two to be exact," Claire playfully punched Alex in the shoulder; Alex nudged her back. "Didn't she fly you to the fortress of solitude to take her anger out? I mean, it was kind of your fault."

"How was I supposed to know camping was going to turn out that bad? I didn't put the grizzly bear there! But I did shoot him between the eyes."

"No, you shot him in the neck, didn't you?"

"No! I take pride in that shot! In between the eyes get the photo album out we'll settle this once and for all!"

Laughing, Claire quickly dashed out of the room, past family photos on the wall and up the stairs to her bedroom. This wasn't her childhood bedroom of course, that had been destroyed in the battle that claimed her mother's life. From fifteen onwards, there had been a lot of memories in the small rectangular room. Alex comforting her through the first two weeks, grieving together. Her best friends showing their love and support. She had had her first kiss on the windowsill and another first _against_ the windowsill; Alex would never know how it cracked, one of Claire's favourite secrets she shared only with herself.

She found the photo album on the bottom shelf covered in a thick layer of dust; when was the last time it had been touched? She traced her fingers around the words engraved into the leather surface: **Danvers Family Memories.**

It had been a Birthday present from J'onn when Claire had turned five, and since then the Danvers clan had been scrapbooking countless memories into pages upon pages of photos and cheesy captions (of course, most were puns of Kara's). Claire took a deep breath and opened the book, flipping quickly past the early years of her childhood and towards the middle that spanned from age ten to fifteen. She flipped each page quicker than the last, until something fell onto the floor.

"Damn it." She whispered to herself, knowing how many hours Alex had spent gluing each photo to the page. Bending down to pick it up, she realized this particular photo wasn't taped, nor did it show any signs of glue residue; this was simply placed in the album and everyone who knows the Danvers know organization is in their blood, adopted alien or not.

She grabbed the piece of paper and turned it over, unfolded it once and almost fell to her knees in defeat. Claire didn't need to read the name at the bottom of the letter to know it was her mother; she would recognize her handwriting anywhere. Staggering to the end of her bed, she sat down started reading.

 _Claire,_

 _If you're reading this, you found where I hid this letter. Who knows when you'll be able to look at these pictures again. You could be reading this after my funeral, your graduation, your wedding day (tearing up already!), or maybe you're ninety years old and wrinkly... anyways, I have a few things to get off my chest._

 _If you're reading this, I am no more. Excuse the messiness of this writing, as I write I'm bleeding, and things are not looking good for me. I need you to be strong, okay? I need you to be a Zor-El and wear the S on your heart and soul but most importantly, I need you to be a Danvers, okay? I need you to be there for your Aunt Alex, okay? She's going to tell you she's fine and she's going to be the strongest person in your life, but she's going to be breaking inside. You need to realize when to be there for her, and also when to back away, and she will do the same for you, I promise._

 _Do not blame J'onn. If this doesn't go as planned it will look as if it is his fault, as if he put me in this situation. Claire, J'onn has never put me in a situation without asking me if I was okay with it. I've never said no to J'onn, but if I did he would respect my wishes, so I need you to respect his, okay?_

 _I love you, Claire. Please remember that..._

Having read enough without crying, Claire quickly folded the letter and stuffed it into the back pocket of her jeans.

"Claire? Honey? You got the picture?"

Claire's heart was beating rapidly, the blood that coursed through her veins felt warm and hot and small beads of sweat trickled down the back of her neck. Without thinking, she lifted herself up off the ground and flew through the window, making the crack shatter, raining down shards of glass onto the ground below. Claire tried to drown out her own thoughts and feelings that were calling at her, shouting at her from the back of her mind with the wind, flying faster and faster into the night sky.

For the first time in a decade, a Kryptonian looked down on National City from a bird's eye view. Claire looked down upon the city that birthed her, raised her, and then destroyed her. It pulsed with life, all of the light, the colour, the cheers of happiness that erupted in the streets... all of it made her angry, yet, it made her feel a little closer to Kara.

Claire rose further up into the dark sky, past the smog and the clouds until she felt she were closer to the heavens. It was there she let out a scream so powerful it strained her voice and hurt her lungs, but she didn't care. Her whole life had been caving in for a couple months. Break-up with her boyfriend, drinking away her sorrows, dropping out of school and moving back to National City with her Aunt Alex hadn't exactly been the perfect way to start off her twenty-fifth year. But it happened, and deep down she knew it happened for a reason, but she couldn't think of a reason good enough for her to endure what she had been through.

After a moment of silence, Claire made her way back down to National City, feeling a bit more at ease with herself. She didn't fly back to her home though, she would apologize to Alex later for the window. She flew past CatCo, paused a moment to watch Lena Luthor work tiredly at her desk and then she was out again, dashing above skyscrapers until she reached a small apartment complex almost clear across town. It was quiet when she landed on the road, not a car or a soul in sight, but somehow, he had seen her come down.

"Claire?" J'onn asked as he opened the window from his second floor apartment. "What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping we could talk."

J'onn smiled. "Please, come on up."

J'onn's apartment was exactly how Claire had remembered it. Small, cramped, and smelled clean but, still like a bachelor had lived there all his life. It was hardly decorated, a few pictures hung on the wall and a clock above the kitchen sink. Claire swallowed a lump when she crossed into his living room; Kara's - Supergirl's- 'S' hung as a metal artwork above his fireplace.

"I made it myself shortly after your mother passed," J'onn told Claire, his hands in his pockets and his eyes faced towards the floor. "Do you like it?"

"It's awesome," Claire sighed and then, took a deep breath in. "It's sort of why I'm here. I mean, Supergirl, not the artwork."

"Why is it that you've broken your Aunt's window and flew over here on a Thursday night? Play some cards? Have a beer?"

Claire grimaced. "Aunt Alex called you, didn't she?"

"She did, but that's besides the point. You're here because of Supergirl?"

"Aunt Alex said you wanted to talk to me about the fate of the world, about this meteor, I'm assuming. Can you stop it?"

"Potentially, we need a stone that holds an element that will possess enough strength to stop it. It no longer exists on this earth and it came from Krypton so, nowhere in this universe is in possession of it. We do have the ability to send someone back through time and space to retrieve the stone so they can bring it back here and we can stop the meteor once and for all."

"So who's going to do it?" Claire asked, still looking around inquisitively at J'onn's belongings.

J'onn sighed, looking up from the floor directly into Claire's eyes. "You have the ability to travel right now, Claire. You potentially won't be harmed by the meteor's chemicals therefore you are the perfect candidate for the job."

"Surely there's others, others who aren't potential candidates, who are fully able to withstand the toxins. It's because I'm half human, right? If I was a full blooded Kryptonian I would have had the job."

"I'm taking a risk with you, yes. There are four others who are genetically modified to fill the requirements. But Claire, they're not..."

"Supergirl?" Claire snapped as she spun on her heels, her attention fully focused on the green Martian shivering in his own home. "Think before you speak because I am no Supergirl."

"I was going to say able to fly or posses super strength," J'onn took a step closer to Claire and smiled down on her; she had her mother's eyes. "Your mother was like a daughter to me, Claire. I miss her more and more everyday. What she did for the DEO was historic, and she saved millions of lives in the process. I could never ask anyone to do the same, but the offer is on the table, okay?"

J'onn walked away, turning back to the dirty dishes stained with the remains of a TV dinner. He dipped the first one in the sink and washed it with the cloth slowly, waiting for a reaction from the half Kryptonian. He watched from the corner of his eye as Claire paced the room, biting her lip and mumbling words to herself. She touched her hand to her pocket a few times, fumbling with the edge of the letter. Finally, when all the dishes were done and J'onn was relaxed back on the couch surfing the channels, Claire spoke.

"Okay," she whispered. "I'll do it," she took a deep breath. "But on one condition."

J'onn smiled and chuckled. "And what would that be?"

"I get to pick the colour of the suit and promise me, no capes?"

"That's two things," J'onn laughed but his smile faded as the blonde on the couch next to him stared at him with a look that made his body shake. "But okay, no capes."

"When do we start?"

"Claire Danvers, are you ready to visit the DEO again? Are you ready to go back to the past?"

Claire didn't answer instead, she closed her eyes and touched the letter once again in her pocket; maybe one day she would have the strength to read it entirely, but one day was far into the future.


	3. Weakness

_Snow fell in small flakes all around Claire's body as she lay on her back, looking up at the stars shining through the clouds above. Beside her a fire was roaring, keeping her flesh warm from the freezing temperature that threatened frostbite._

" _I'll never understand why you and Alex liked to do this."_

 _Kara floated down from the sky above, her cape covered in a thin layer of white. She brushed it off easily. She smiled down at Claire, looking her up and down as if this was the first time she was seeing her in a long time. Crossing the frozen dirt, she sat down next to Claire and laid her head on her shoulder, easing into a position so she too could look up at the stars where she had just come from. A different point of view._

" _We don't do it anymore," Claire mumbled. "We tried after the funeral, but it just wasn't the same."_

" _I told you not to get that way. Didn't you read my letter?"_

" _The first bit. I'm saving the rest for later."_

 _Kara rolled her eyes. "Well you might want to read the rest. I didn't run off mid battle, bleeding and basically dying to just take a breath. I had things to tell you, so I wrote them down. I meant everything behind what I said."_

" _I'm not mad at you Mom I'm just..."_

" _Just what?"_

" _Just so many things have changed in my life recently I feel like I'm taking one giant step backwards, you know?"_

 _Kara looked at her daughter, memorizing every last detail; she had grown in so many ways. "I don't remember dying, Claire. How did I die?"_

" _This is just a dream, Mom, you don't remember because I wasn't there for it. Aunt Alex protected me from the gore, although she wasn't even there herself. Only J'onn was."_

" _Oh," Kara looked away, her eyes darting back and forth between the snowflakes. "Did I ever tell you that the first time you flew was in the snow?"_

" _Many times, Aunt Alex even caught it on video, she replays it on the anniversary of your death, just to hear your laugh."_

" _I never knew if you were going to be a Zor-El or a..."_

" _Human?"_

 _Kara's face went red and it wasn't from the cold._

 _Claire broke the awkward silence of her dream. "I still see Dad, from time to time. He sent me a cheque for my Birthday. It's painful that the only people I can talk about you to are Alex and Lena. I mean Winn is around, but talking to him is like..."_

" _It's weird, right?" Kara dished. "I can't even explain it!"_

 _The two chuckle for a moment thinking about their bumbling office friend and the definition of a fun Uncle. Claire sighs before snuggling into the crook of her mother's shoulder like she used to when she was a small child. Kara began stroking Claire's damp hair from the snow and wished this moment could last forever, even though it wasn't real._

" _Your Dad and I, we didn't have a great relationship, in fact I don't think you can even call it a relationship..."_

" _Just a one-night stand at an alien bar, right?"_

 _Kara sighed. "It wasn't just a one-night stand. We tried to make it work, you know that. Some people just click, they just fit, you know?" She paused a moment to think about Mon-El, but then shook her head, not allowing herself to go down that path. "We didn't fit."_

" _Lena funded my college experience," Claire changed the subject. "She insisted, no matter how many times Aunt Alex rejected the cash, the woman just won't stop."_

 _Kara laughed. "That's Lena for you. I'm happy you're happy, Claire-bear."_

 _Claire went silent. Was she really happy? Did she really drop out of college after two years, move to California just to have her heart torn apart, and then move back in with her Aunt, broken and cracked? No, she wasn't entirely happy._

" _Mom..." Claire's voice wavered. "Can I tell you something?"_

 _Kara didn't answer instead, she stared intently as the snowflakes above grew bigger; thousands of tiny crystals all coming together as one giant mass. Her eyes sparkled as she found herself drawn to the flakes, each one illuminated with a blinding light that made Claire squint herself. Kara gently moved Claire to the side as she stood and came face to face with the lights. Her feet lifted off the ground as she rose back into the heavens, her focus entirely on the light._

" _Mom?" Claire whispered, standing up and reaching out. She tried to lift off the ground too, but it seemed her feet were frozen; she was entirely human in this moment._

" _Mom!" She screamed again, this time even louder. "Mom! Come back! Please!"_

 _Supergirl floated away and absorbed the light with her and just like that she was out of sight, out of mind, all with the exception of Claire's._

Claire awoke from her dream with a start, her chest heaving up and down sweat dripping down the back of her neck. She tried to sit up quickly, but grabbed her head in pain as the room began to spin; what happened last night? She looked around the room: glass shards still sat where they lay from when she flew through the window. Her clothes were strewn on the floor and two bottles of wine littered the bedside table. She tasted something on her lips. Was it gloss? Alcohol? No... it was... oh no.

Claire leaned over the side of her bed and emptied the remainder of the Pinot Grigio from the pit of her stomach into the garbage can. She hung her head over the mattress for a moment, groaning in regret and agony. On the floor lay her bra, underwear and socks. Odd, she thought. Upon rolling over in the bed, clinging to the comfort of her linen sheets Claire discovered a handsome looking man snoring with his mouth wide open. Her eyes widened as she recognized the man from her college course two years ago. They had gone out for drinks, had a nice time, and hung out as just friends until Claire dropped everything to move away. How could she have forgotten about it so fast and so quickly?

Claire poked him on the shoulder and to her surprise Terrence opened his eyes and looked deep into hers and let out a large gasp.

"What? Claire?" He looked around. "What am I doing here?" He leapt out of the bed, fully naked. "You weren't at Mark's going away party? I walked home, didn't I? Oh god how did I end up here."

A knock sounded at the door and Claire froze, as did Terrence, dramatically searching for his boxers; they were hanging on the door handle. Claire's eyes darted from her college classmate to the boxers; she could quickly shut the door, but Terrence didn't know of her powers, nor did she want him to know. The door opened, and the boxers fell to the floor. Claire dove back under the sheets and curled into a ball, leaving the man to fend for himself.

"Claire it's time to... oh dear god!" Alex stopped halfway through the door and shielded her eyes.

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Danvers!" Terrence dove for his boxers as Alex continued to keep her eyes covered.

"Mrs. Danvers is so formal, I feel like we're past that stage for how much I've seen."

Terrence continued to go about his routine while Claire casually covered herself from her Aunt with the covers. Alex shook her head at her niece in disbelief and shut the door with a bang behind her; Terrence jumped.

"Do you remember anything about last night? I swear I walked home."

Claire's mind came through in flashes; walking home from J'onn's, stumbling upon a liquor store, running into an already drunken Terrence on the sidewalk, pushing him forcefully against the wall, whispering things into his ear no straight man would refuse. But, all the same, she shrugged her shoulders and began to dress herself.

"Nope, no clue, both of us must have been blackout last night."

"Well then," Terrence sighed. "This is going to be an awkward walk of shame through your living room. It was good to see you nonetheless, when did you get back in town?"

"A bit ago, thought it was time to move back." Claire moved closer to push Terrence out of her room, but the clumsy boy took it as a sign for a kiss and leaned down and planted his tongue in Claire's mouth, their lips locked awkwardly for a few moments before Claire pulled away.

"This was a one-time thing, okay? Don't call me."

Terrence laughed. "That's not what I hear from most girls who I spend the night with."

This time Claire finally managed to shove Terrence out of her room, lanky limbs and all. He kept glancing back at her lovingly and each time her stomach turned in knots and her heart flip flopped; the boy she left National City for used to look at her that way. Shame suddenly washed over her body when she thought of _him._ The man who had stolen her heart and ran away with it.

"Seriously though, was I really that bad you don't want a phone call?" Terrence asked Claire, practically clinging to the frame of the front door just to stay long enough to get his answer, even though he had stayed far past his welcome. Alex cleared her throat from the other room; this was the last thing she wanted to be hearing.

Claire laughed. "It's not you, it's me. Will that make you go away?"

Terrence smiled. "No."

"Fine," Claire growled. "I'm going on an extended holiday, okay? Goodbye."

Terrence stuck his foot in the door. "Where to? Sounds spontaneous."

"In a minute my foot is going to be travelling up your ass."

Terrence winked. "I'll be here when you get back," he blows Claire a sarcastic kiss. "You'll call me."

"I highly doubt that."

Claire slammed the door in his face, listening as the wooden material knocked against his forehead and sent him flat on his ass on the porch Alex and Claire had built. Claire watched with her x-ray vision behind the closed door and laughed, Alex scoffing from her stance behind Claire, arms crossed and all.

"Do you know how worried I was?" she spat. "J'onn had no idea where you had gone after his home, not to mention the window you broke, which you will pay for and fix when you get back from the past, young lady."

Claire nodded, rubbing her fingers against her temples. Alex sighed and disappeared into the kitchen, still giving her niece the motherly lecture she needed.

"I don't understand why you would even put alcohol to your lips after knowing what it does to you." She reappeared with a cup of water, practically shoving it into Claire's hands. Claire placed the glass to her lips and sighed as the cool liquid made its way down her throat and throughout her body.

"I guess that just happens when Kryptonians and human procreate; my weaknesses are not limited to kryptonite, but alcohol as well. Oh, and shellfish."

"No," Alex snickered and removed the empty glass from Claire's hand. "That's just an allergy, that's the human side coming out in you." Alex ruffled her hair as she made her way back into the kitchen. Claire smiled; her Aunt always knew how to do that.

"When's Maggie coming back? I was hoping to see her before I shipped out."

Alex almost dropped the glass into the sink. Instead, she shakily placed it down, and then leaning on the counter let her face go bright red, on the verge of tears. Maggie was a sore subject in the household, one that Claire didn't fully understand only because her Aunt kept it bottled inside of her. It was no secret that Alex needed someone other than her niece in her life after Kara had passed, and when Maggie walked back into her life to share her condolences, it just seemed like the time was right. Alex wasn't going to be having any kids, Maggie warmed up to Claire and within two years they were married.

A perfect fit.

That is until rocky waters hit them like a brick after Claire had left for California. It started out as small the things; who last put gas in the car, who left the garbage can out the night before that the bear got into, who shot which evil alien at the mall first, which one deserved the arrest… everything became a competition. Before they knew it, they couldn't remember the last time they had sex, and that's when Alex woke up one day to a cold bed and a note on the kitchen table.

 _ **Sorry. – M.**_

Alex mourned the relationship for a few months, not bothering to even contact Maggie Danvers (she had taken Alex's last name, a whole other argument in itself). Then, Claire came home, and another aspect of Alex's life was filled once again.

"She decided to extend her holiday," Alex lied through her teeth. "She's really enjoying Hawaii with her cousins, you know how her Uncle is sick, I think she's going to stay until he passes."

Claire nodded, accepting the answer. She rummaged around in the closet for a decent sweatshirt to hide her haggard look; they had to be at the DEO in an hour for the big liftoff, and for the first time Claire felt nervous. She looked to the framed picture on the wall of her and her mother, both normal, both smiling, both at the beach soaking up the sun. A thought dawned across Claire's mind.

"What if I didn't have to pay for the window when I got back?"

"You're not getting out of it, Claire, you broke you pay for it."

"I'm going back to the past, to get a stupid substance that will stop a stupid meteor. What if this was all meant to be? What if I'm really meant to make a change? Just think. I could tell the past versions of yourself about what's to come. The power outages, the sickness," Claire pauses. " _Him._ If I say something the future could change, thousands of people's lives could be saved including Mom's! We could save the world with this."

"No, no, no," Alex moves back into the living room and places her niece's face in her hands. "Listen to me. You are not going back to change anything. You're going back to the past on a mission and nothing else. You are not to go looking for your mother, you are not to see your mother, you are not to talk to your mother, do you understand? We can't change anything, what's done is done. I want her back just as much as you do, Claire, but it's dangerous, you never know what you could change."

Claire gently brushes Alex's hands away from her face and moves on back up the stairs, leaving Alex alone to let the tears fall from her face. She turns to the photo on the wall and smiles at her younger sister.

"I know Kara, I'm trying my best."

/

The DEO isn't quite like Claire had remembered it, after all, it had been ten years since she last heard her footsteps echo through the halls. She remembered it being a place of love, a place of light and most of all, a place where everyone could confide in. But now, it's dark atmosphere with the impending doom of the meteor seemed to suck the fun out of everything. The famous Kryptonian 'S' was plastered to the wall every six feet, giving it an eerie tomb vibe. Alex slipped an arm through Claire's as they both kept their heads held high. This wasn't Alex's first time back, but the 'S''s she noticed were a new touch.

In the center of the room a posse awaited the duo to arrive. Applause erupted from everyone as the glass doors swung open to reveal a new hope and her Aunt. Claire looked around at the faces she recognized that she hadn't even felt the need to contact during the five years she had been away from National City; her stomach churned with guilt.

"Claire-bear," Lena Luthor stepped forwards, her high heels seeming to stop the applause abruptly. She embraced Claire in a light hug, awkward to both woman as Claire tensed her body. "It's good to have you back, regardless of the circumstances."

"I'm not back," Claire corrected her, trying to ignore the pet name that had just escaped Lena's lips; that was her mother's thing. "Just, helping out."

"Right." Lena nodded and smiled meekly, pulling her phone out of her pocket and pretending to check her messages. Lena hadn't been with the DEO for very long, and she certainly wasn't there working for J'onn when Kara died. But, she knew her stuff and helped out when she wasn't busy running her own companies, she was an asset to everyone, even if some didn't agree with her politics.

Claire had always thought Lena was the complicated friend out of her mother's few friendships. Kara didn't come out as Supergirl to Lena on her own terms, it had been an awkward situation, one that Lena never fully forgave her friend for, but the nonetheless she stuck around, and if that's not true friendship Claire didn't know what was so, Claire swallowed her opinions about Lena and moved on.

"Good to see you again, Claire, I hope things are well." James said from his spot, hands shoved in his pockets; he knew his place, and it was not with Claire. Claire smiled meekly at him, her eyes narrowing at the man behind Guardian's mask; he was there the night Supergirl fell from the sky.

"Supergirl 2.0!"

The room went silent. Everyone stopped moving, even the computer seemed to stop humming. The only sound being J'onn, clearing his throat when things got a little too quiet for his liking. Tina, who had snuck in behind them without warning with a stack full of papers in her arms, seemed to trip on the words that echoed throughout the room and dropped the papers to the floor. J'onn hurriedly bent down to help his assistant.

Wynn stepped out from behind his computer desk, his arms outstretched, ready to embrace Claire in a fun-loving hug.

Alex nudged Claire's arm and whispered out of the side of her mouth: "Did you miss this?"

"I have nightmare about this."

Wynn engulfed Claire in a tight hug, and unlike Lena's, it was only awkward to Claire. He pulled away and looked her up and down, like most distance relatives do when they haven't seen the young ones in a while.

"What's it been like five years? Where the hell did you run off to? You're suddenly, like..."

"An adult?"

"No, I was going to say buff but that too. Anyways, it's good to finally have you on board at the DEO," Wynn took Claire by the hand and led her to his computer where it hurriedly began to type away. "You're going to love what I designed for you it's amazing. Everyone's so excited about another Supergirl it's…"

"I'm not another Supergirl," Claire growled. "Just helping to save the world once and then I'm going on my way."

Wynn scoffed. "Okay Claire, whatever you say. Now, I know J'onn said you don't want a cape, and I totally respect that decision you made but the cape is useful in so many different ways I don't think you understand."

Claire looked at the design Wynn had on his screen. It looked similar to her mother's in the upper body; tight, form fitting with a rough bulletproof, fireproof, fabric her mother had adorned. Much like the deep blue Kara sported this one was slightly lighter, like a sky on a bright summer day. Instead of a skirt attached to the upper material were a comfortable, slightly thinner red pants that would come down to just above Claire's ankles, with two slits at the back of her calves for breathing room; she was part human, she would sweat. A red cape just like her mother's was attached to this design, exactly what Claire didn't want. Although the cape was definite no, Claire couldn't take her eyes off of the faded smaller version of the 'S' that boasted proudly in the middle of the chest, it had a grungy, end of the world vibe to it, and Claire hated that she loved it.

"Take off the cape." Claire said sternly, everyone in the room shifting their eyes towards Wynn and Claire.

"But Claire, a cape can be used for so much more than just looks. Your Mom…"

"NO CAPE!" Claire growled. "I am not my mother, I am not Supergirl, okay? Let's just, move on, alright? Where do I change?"

"Over there," J'onn pointed to a small door down the hall. "After you change come see me, I'll go over your agenda."

Claire turned her attention back to Wynn, her eyes glaring. "And the cape?"

Wynn got up from his chair, his face bright red and his eyes averted to the floor. "It's a clip on, it's easy to take off just give it a moment."

Wynn walked hurriedly down the hall towards Claire's dressing room to fix his mistake he had so lovingly made. The room was still silent, all eyes towards Claire. Claire gulped and looked to Lena, who was the only person smiling.

"There she is," Lena laughed. "Kara Danvers lives on ladies and gentlemen."

For some reason, this made Claire smile.

"It's ready." Wynn said from down the hall and without hesitation, Claire took the first step towards her future.


End file.
